The Current Threat Level: Kook

For the Chicken Littles of the wingnut world it's been a great week. First there's been the chance to cry "Communist Indoctrination!" over a video of schoolkids singing about Barak Obama. Then we had everybody's favorite crazy dictator* (or at least my favorite crazy dictator) addressing the United Nations and calling Obama a "son of Africa," which makes him Orly Taitz's most credible supporter to date.

Then it was disclosed that Iran has a second nuclear facility. I can understand why both Western intelligence uncovered it and Iran came clean about it: for almost two decades Western observers have been predicting that Iran is five years away from being able to build nuclear weapons. If you want to keep some spice in a relationship you can't just do the same things over and over, you have to throw in something new every now and then. That Ahmadinejad--he's such a tease.

Meanwhile, Joe Lieberman (among others) has been asking Obama to state he's open to all courses of action (read: invade) should negotiations over Iran's nuclear facilities fail--because God knows invading countries isn't something we've been doing enough lately. Practice, practice, practice--maybe one day we'll get it right.

Of course no one is discussing the obvious: that Iran's nuclear facilities will probably never be used to produce weapons and that this brouhaha has been totally fabricated to distract everyone from the scariest thing in the world right now: Tom DeLay's dancing.

Then there's one of those more, um, under-the-mainstream-radar threats: the real reason Census workers have handheld GPS devices is not so much so they can find houses for their work but so all locations of U.S. residences can be recorded to enable missile attacks against undesirables.

Now I'm as much a fan of conspiracy theories regarding elimination of undesirables as the next guy: but last I heard Mitch Albom's house was still standing. If the goverment really has this capability, what are they waiting for?


*I refuse to write his name, since nobody can agree how to spell it--some fights are best avoided.