Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Jumping on the Bandwagon

File this post under everyone-else-is-writing-about-it-so-I-might-as-well-too. The most famous teenage mother in America is now the Candie Foundation's ambassador for teen pregnancy prevention. This almost tops Bill O'Reilly (who called a rape victim "moronic" for wearing a mini skirt) speaking at a fundraiser for a rape survivors' foundation.

Bristol Palin has retracted her slip on Fox News that abstinence for all teens was not a realistic expectation, and is now advocating abstinence as "the only one-hundred percent fool-proof way to prevent pregnancy."

Admittedly, casting Bristol Palin as an ambassador for chastity hearkens back to a time-honored tradition of learning from others' mistakes. In the rural South in the mid-twentieth century, inmates from state prisons were brought to public schools to tell children "how they went wrong" and urging them to stay out of trouble or else they too would end up in the state pen.

The problem with this is that Bristol Palin can't very well say that abstinence will "save you a lot of heartache" and simultaneously say that her son Trig (where does this family get these names?) is "a blessing...the love of my life...the best thing that ever happened to me...."

"Be a good chaste girl and you won't have a little blessing from Jesus like I did." Flawless logic, no?

Of course, the Candie Foundation itself is constructed on self-contradicting foundations. It's affiliated with the girls' jewelry and apparel maker Candies--one of whose spokepersons is Britney Spears, the most famous 1990s pioneer of the kinderslut look.

But let's not be too hard on Bristol. It's perhaps easier to be on the sanguine side about your own teen pregnancy when you belong to a wealthy family and you're getting paid to talk about your mistake (scroll down to the end, you'll find it).

No one will say what Candie's Foundation is paying Bristol, but considering how much money her mother has bilked other people out of, I think we can assume she's doing quite well.


Danielle said...

Candie's like the people who made jelly sandals in the '80s?! The ones that bit your feet?

3goodrats said...

Isn't her son's name Tripp? I think Trig is her baby brother. They must call each other by the wrong name even more than in most families, don't you think?

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